Dear Phyliss* and Group,

Even though I am no longer a member of group, I was heartened that you sent S to my father’s funeral as a representative of group. I thank all of you for being part of her decision to be with me. She was an angel from heaven coming to hold me at a time when I really needed a group hug. I couldn't wait for the person in front of her to stop talking so I could hold her. The anxiety I had waiting for her hug was unbearable and when I was finally in her arms I had all the comfort I ever needed.

Group was always on my mind as I took care of my father the last 5 days of his life. I could have never given myself completely without the knowledge and strength I received from all of you. I was able to go with my feelings and not question my decision and also stand up for any decision I had to make.  People really show their true self at times like this.  I was so proud of myself to be myself and I definitely feel a change inside. I am humbled.

We gave him a beautiful send off and it brought us all closer together and we liked it and will work hard to keep it going. My mother has a wall filled with pictures of all their children and grandchildren in her living room and we put Dad's bed right under it, with all of us in chairs around him. My sister and I stayed round the clock with him for 5 days. This created a bond with us and my father I'll never ever forget. What an amazing and honorable experience it was to care for my father as he once took care of me.

I was also able to write again, I wrote the “Letter To My Father” that was in the Mass booklet hours before he died. We were all so happy to be together again in the home we grew up in. (A thousand legger ran by that very night and we all screamed.)

The song I picked to play as our goodbye to dad is by Mindy Smith called One More Moment. This song gives me a beautiful warm feeling in my heart and soul. I can really hold onto this whole experience for a long, long time.

I thank you for this.

I Love You,
Mary

*Dear Phyliss,

I would be honored if you posted my letter on your website and I would like my name to be added at the end of the letter. I'm proud to have been part of group.
I Love you,
Mary

Phyliss’s response:

What a wonderful letter for me to share with group. S related her experience with you on the day of the funeral and we all felt you with us and us with you. Your letter is so beautifully written and reflects your journey. Thanks so much for sending it. I will print it and distribute it in group.

I am glad your father is at peace. My warmest regards and condolences to you and your family.

Phyliss