The following is a letter from a cherished member of our group (who gave me permission to publish it here) who, after having achieved her goals, left group but wanted us to know how we had impacted her and that we would be missed.

Dear Group: I can still easily be moved to tears when I think about not coming back to group and I like that the tears come so freely. I didn’t expect that I was going to be so tearful and emotional at my last night. I had many feelings and thoughts coursing through me as I sat with you and we said our “Good-bye.”  I had an awareness of all that I had learned from you and I felt humbled and awed to have been a part of this group. At different moments, I felt happy, sad, proud, forlorn, courageous, and afraid. But I have learned from you how to handle those feelings, to trust in my abilities, to discover that I have a self and how to take care of that self. This Sunday is Mother’s Day. I salute you because you have been good mothers to me. You taught me well and then you let me go. A few months ago, I told you that I never got to say good-bye to either of my parents because they both died so suddenly. I thank you for giving me the opportunity to have that long, slow, “painfully exquisite” Good-bye. I think the words from the song “For Good” from the musical “Wicked” are good for the end of this letter: “It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime/ So let me say before we part/ So much of me is made of what I learned from you. You’ll be with me like a handprint on my heart/ And now whatever way our stories end I know you have rewritten mine by being my friend.” Happy Mother’s Day.

Phyliss Shanken’s response: We move on. It is how it should be. But, so yes and no. Good-bye dear group member: Good-bye to your tough yet vulnerable, intellectual yet passionate essence.  In this group, there will always be a place for the memory of your unique and indomitable spirit. May we, as a group, celebrate you, even though you won’t’ be with us in the same form as before. Always maintain your sense of wonder and whenever we wonder, we will think of you.